Blogging Therapy

I've been busy lately. So damn busy. Not so busy as to not have any time at all to dedicate to blogging. Just busy enough to be under pressure and stress so that when it comes time to actually sit down and write a post, there's not much left in terms of gray matter to dedicate to writing.

Plus I have been sick these past few weeks. Really really fucking sick which has sapped allot of my energy. By the time I get home, have dinner with the kids, bathe them, get them to bed and then start other things like washing up, folding clothes etc etc etc, it's 9pm by the time i get to sit down and there's not much left.
One thing I have discovered from being sick is that sometimes you have to look at the big picture. All too often I tend to get wrapped up in the minor details. The list of things that need to be done, instead of the list of things I WANT to do. It seems so easy to put off all the fun stuff in life sometimes doesn't it?

I think I have come to a point in my life where I realise that you don't get anything in life from sitting back saying 'I'm tired or I don't have the energy just now'. I think I have been thinking this way about allot of things in my life. Perhaps

One thing I'm a little disappointed with is I haven't written much about Jessanna growing up. Nikayla's first years are well documented in this blog but Jessanna, my second has missed out a little. This is another reason why I want to get back into updating this damn blog a little more often.

Jessanna really is a funny little bean. She is so different to her sister in so many ways, but on the other hand she idolises her and wants to be like her, do the things she does and eat the things she eats. This being the case she is growing up so much faster than Nikayla ever did and it amazes me! Every day she learns a new word, or a way to do something. She sings along with the Wiggles and does the actions as best she can. She's not afraid of much, getting involved with the bigger kids or going down that great big slide has never phased her. She is cluey all right, but in an intuitive type of way. Nikayla is very analytical and smart in an academic type of way. Jessanna seems to go more on feelings, body language and the more subtle variances of the human state.

She loves being involved. Often if I'm in the kitchen preparing food she will grab her little stool and yell out 'help, help' and toddle over and stand next to me. She helps with things like drying off the washed vegies with a tea towel and drying little plastic cups from the dish drainer. It doesn't matter what job I give her, she doesn't care. It's just the act of being involved she adores.

To My Daughters

With two bright smiles as warming and therapeutic as the sun, I never thought I could love someone as much as I love the both of you. You’re both so unique, like a butterfly coming from it’s cocoon, you are growing and spreading your wings, bringing with it a joy of flight and wonder that shows discovery, love and old experience in your faces.

Everything is crisp, new and undiscovered in your eyes. You look at the world with an honesty and innocence that doesn’t come with the shackles of society, war or the world. Things are seen as they are, fresh and virgin.

I would never have thought for a minute that I could love two people as much as I love the both of you. You bring a joy to my heart each and every day that I can’t describe nearly as eloquently as I would like to in words. Every day you learn. Learn to love, learn to hate, learn to hit and hug, fight and make up. All these polar opposites are molding you into the wonderful women you will become.

I often wonder what you will be like when you are older. Will you have kids? What’s the thing you will bring to the world other than making me the happiest dad in the world? All these things I ponder when I’m alone, staring out the window of the train or driving home from work in my own world of imagination and thought. I imagine you older, as school girls or mothers. Delightfully running with my own fantasies about the wonderful relationship we will have full of peaks and troughs, highs and lows.

Every day you change. Each and every day you learn something that will help you in your wonderfully colourful life that you can decide to live, if you choose. Each and every day you make me stronger. Sometimes by hurting me. Sometimes by loving me. Whatever the extremes of your personality that makes me wince, cry, yell, laugh or love, I want you both to know that I love every little thing about you. I understand that this is all part of who you are and without all of your idiosyncrasies; it would not make you the people I love so much.

You are growing so much my little ones. Jessanna you’re learning new words each and every day. Why just this morning when you were in bed with me, snuggling up close, you kicked off the blankets and I said “Sweetheart, you need to keep the blankets on otherwise you’ll get cold” you rolled a little one-year-old smile over to me and blurted out “blaaaankeeet”. I had to laugh and snuggle you closer to which you replied with a tired sigh and a warm snuggle to my neck, followed by more sleep.

Nikayla you are turning into a little girl so quickly. You’re independent and thirsty for knowledge. Just these pasts few weeks you have been asking “What does that mean?” if you’re not sure of a word or a meaning. I always try to explain what something means without sugar-coating things too much as I want you to learn about the world and all it’s harsh realities whilst also trying to keep some of your wonderful innocense.

Keep growing my little ones. I will always be there to guide you.

This was inspired by this post.

Blogs…interesting. Very bloody interesting.

It’s really interesting, since I’ve started BloggerView, I have opened up my mind to reading all sorts of different blogs. I appreciate people have an opinion and going to someone’s blog is like listening to their conversation sitting on the bus or waiting in line at the bank.

You get to peer inside someone’s life. The life of someone who’s gratuitously inclined to give their lives, fears and sometimes inner most thoughts to the web, for all to read. It just intrigues me, this whole blog phenomenon.

I’ve noticed myself reading more and more blogs and liking what I see. People can be completely isolated and boxed in, yet have an outlet on a blog with the opportunity to remain completely anonymous or display their life online with a passion and grandeur that leaves visitors compelled enough to make comment or give advice.

The blogosphere is a place where you can share ideas or find something out. The collective opinions, truths, half-truths and fucking great stories bubble away fed by fury, laughter or ‘just something worth blogging’

We do it because we love it. We love the idea that we can share so openly, to so many people (and the odd wanker or troll) with so much effect, like never before. The internet has given voice to the meek and power to the person. It’s a place to be intrigued and so influenced by someone’s account that it inspires you to write, to dump and to rant.

Blogs…interesting. Very bloody interesting.